Monday, October 13, 2008

ugly me

I have a morbid tummy. My big belly is really gross and it makes me inferior as my confidence level is going down the drain.

However, a lot of my friends are telling me silently that my inside beauty could be the opposite but a brother, who is also my flat mate that is celebrating his birthday today could be thinking my persona is a lot disgusting than my big belly.

True, I am ugly inside, out. Today, I never dared seeing him to greet during his birthday. I don’t know why. I just don’t feel like doing it. I sent him an email though and asked him to help Ace land a job with their company.

I was chatting for the first time with Ace because I know he and his mom are so depressed to leave their house in the next 17 days.

Ace said it was the first time to see his mom crying last night as she threw the towel on racing to raise money to pay their house amortization.

I could only offer Ace and his mom my house to live wen they would be evicted very soon.

As I feel for them, I was not able to resist expressing to Ace my love for him.

“Love you din,” he said. I could only tell myself that I am beautiful.

But another YM contact PM me and said “hi” that I replied “halu.” The messages kept coming and I sensed that the chatter seems not the character I used to chat with. As the strange chatter was successful in dragging me away from Ace’s attention, I unzip my skin and unleash the ugliest in me.

People who used other people’s email addy are the hackers of the lowest order. Apparently the strange chatter is the jealous Barcelona-based wife of an acquaintance working in Jeddah.

I told her, “bakla ako, pangit ako at mas matanda ako sa yo kahit alam ko na hukluban ka. kaya wag ako ang pag aksayahan mo ng oras. Lubayan mo ako, maghanap ka ng mga bahay dyan na malilinis sa Espanya para magkapera ka. Wag ako ang abalahin mo.”

Pobresitang muchacha!

Apparently, the jealous wife called a substitute chatter. The new gaga read my piece and had to ask apologies for her girl friend and tried explaining why the jealous friend did such a low deed.

I told them apologies not accepted.

“Ang taong bastos dapat binabastos din,” sabi ko amid her friend’s heckling in poor Spanish.

In the middle of my anger, I called my acquaintance in Jeddah and reported to him about his wife’s very lowly attitude of using his email address just to spy on me trying to uncover if I am his mistress.

“Bakit? Ano mo sya?” the message from Spain read. “I don’t need your hubby, I already have a lot,” I replied.

The last time I lost my patience was during my recent my vacation where I threw my brother’s girl friend out of my mother’s house.

That brought my brother into tears that he never did when my father died.

Although I said sorry to my brother later for the embarrassment he felt for that woman, I never regretted that I shouted to his girl friend and that she is never welcome in my mother’s house.

I know that a lot of my loved ones do not like that un-invited guest and they laughed at it while a couple praised me for being so brutally frank to send that woman out of the family reunion after I got fed up of her always eavesdropping each time my family tried to talk about our individual life’s troubles, problems and joyous moments.

I have not talked to my siblings seriously for long after my father died a decade ago. That reunion was supposed to make up for the lost times but an invading person just swept that chance.

Just like how an invading chatter invaded my romantic moment with Ace.

How awful.

1 comment:

Luis Batchoy said...

shit happens ayt? Oh well... this too shall pass... and don't let me get on your nerves, but you see... I say you ARE beautiful. It takes shit loads of courage to do things the way you do them. Acidic, but true nevertheless. I would prefer the brutal truth all the time rather than candy coated cynide...or shall I say...Melamine? Hang in there!