Monday, September 3, 2007

See eysh See

A friend asked me what is see eysh see. I assumed he was asking for CSC, a term that initially thought by Chinese Leader Mao Tse Tung that a number of Asian activists are using. It actually stands for Criticism and Self Criticism. You criticize your collegaues and you criticize yourself in order for the both of you or an organization that you belong to learn form once's mistakes.

Last week I criticized myself for being so imposing on a cute guy I met long time ago. I may have been carried away for his being kind and generous to me lately but I am sure I was just playing around. However, the guy was seemingly irritated of my "making moves."

The incident reminded me of an American senator who was reported of committing a inappropriate conduct of soliciting sex that eventually led to his voluntary resignation from the US Senate.

"Let me be clear: I am not gay and never have been," said the resigned American legislator that has aligned himself with conservative groups who oppose gay rights.

A confidant asked me why should I ask apology for just playing around doubly so that there was never an intention to sleep with him.

I just kept quite but I told myself that I don’t want to lose a friend that has been so helpful in times of my needs. I love the guy for that and if it takes me a million times to ask an apology to gain back his trust on me, I will.

So, I criticized myself and Al-Hamdullilah, I think am gaining his trust back.

Last night I saw the cute guy and he offered me some pastries. He also let me used his computer and Internet after having some kumustahan.

It was a nice short night I had with the guy.

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